Suicide

Suicide is nothing to joke about. I mean, the thought of someone willing to take their own life is heartbreaking. It’s nothing new to me. I have talked multiple friends out of suicide. Strangers, family, even myself…

Every year, 44,193 people commit suicide in America. For every suicide, twenty-five people attempt to kill themselves. That’s only in America.

One-million people each year die by suicide in the whole world. That means by the cause of suicide, approximently one person dies every 40 seconds.

That’s insane.

In every life, there comes a point when we really feel like just giving up. We don’t want to continue with life because you feel like the world is just against you. All of your mistakes continue to haunt you. Stupid things you did that day keep you up at night and make you cringe. You always feel like no one cares. Like all of your loved ones just have forgotten you exist. It’s a terrible feeling to feel forgotten, unloved, and unwanted. The problem is, no one ever even realizes they are doing anything wrong.

School these days, are full of kids who think it’s funny to laugh at someone. From my experience, it’s not if you wear glasses or if you are that lone nerdy kid over in the corner. Kids don’t make fun of that anymore. No one really ever ‘makes fun’ anymore, but there is definitely still bullying.

I have got to be the nerdiest kid in school. I wear glasses, I am ALWAYS reading, I enjoy art, I absolutely love to learn, and I always adored the teachers everyone else hated. I will say that every once in a while, I was teased. I was known as the ‘over-achiever’ of the school. I never found anything wrong with that. I actually liked that title. It made me feel proud to be who I was because I felt smart, but being smart isn’t why I was bullied. I was bullied because I’m still a virgin, I’ve never done drugs and I never will, I’ve never had alcohol, or really any of that type of thing. Therefore, I wasn’t ‘cool’. Boy, was I pressured into it though, yet still, I refuse.

My point is, a lot of kids today are forced into doing something life threatening. As a child from any age below eighteen, it’s life threatening for us to do drugs, to drink. It’s life threatening for anybody. All young hearts want to be excepted. We want to feel something inside, but all we feel is like we are paralyzed. As if we couldn’t feel anything. So, we strive for this attention; strive to be noticed. We want to be excepted. In other words, to be like the ‘cool kids’.

It’s peer-pressure…

We are bullied into doing something we don’t want to do. Bullied into feeling absolutely worthless. Bullied into believing we are nothing, but it’s not just kids.

Adults can have the same feeling. Like they’re paralyzed. It can be the same incidents of feeling pressured, but it’s still the same thing as feeling like the world is against you. Like God isn’t doing his job. We begin to point our fingers at him saying it’s his fault that we are so screwed up, but it’s not his fault. Brutal, but it’s ours for letting the world make us feel this way.

Forget seeking help. Forget calling a professional, though, it’s good to talk to someone. All you have to do is put your foot down and say that this doesn’t define who you are. This is only a hurdle to get over.

This world is full of endless evil. It’s also full of endless good.

If people are saying that you are worthless; that you are never going to make it. Why would you listen to their pathetic words? Why would you do something that you don’t want to do just to ‘fit-in’? Why would you take your own life because nothing is going right?

Do me a favor and think back to the happiest moment of your childhood. And please, don’t sit there and pretend nothing good ever happened when you were little. Maybe it was when your dad gave you a piggy-back ride to your bedroom. Maybe, it was when you scored a goal at your very first soccer game. Think.

Think of something good that happened yesterday. Who smiled at you? How did it make you feel?

Don’t ever ignore those small happy gestures. This phase of how nothing is going right is just a phase. Believe me, tomorrow will come. Maybe it will be the worst. Maybe it will be the best. You never know. It’s life, okay? Life throws you curveballs. Turn all of those pennies into dimes. Love yourself because you are worth it, and you are amazing.

Love Yourself

You wouldn’t be on this earth if you weren’t meant to do something amazing. Trust me, the Man Upstairs made no mistake of creating your beautiful soul.

I know all you want to do is pull that trigger. Just put an end to it all. But you don’t want to die. You want to live. You just want life to be easier on you. After all, you have a fragile heart. You’ve been hurt to many times; you are just so scared of moving on.

If you are feeling like life is against you, and everyone seems just so mean. Do not let this depression define you. You are worth more than a bag of dirt. In fact, you are worth more than gold. You are in control of who you are. You are in control of what you do. You are you. No one else will ever replace you because they can’t. There is only one you.

Live.

I promise you’ll make it out alive.

~You are Forever loved~

                      ~Alexia Dawn

 

Advertisements

2 Replies to “Suicide”

  1. Thank you for writing and sharing this Alexia. Just recently I heard that a young person killed himself at my daughter’s old secondary school. So sad. However bad life can get there is always an opportunity for it to get better. With suicide nothing gets better. There is only heartbreak and darkness. You are here for a purpose, live life to the full, there is so much to do, to enjoy. The bullies are the losers, ignore them and they will lose their power.

    Like

  2. Alexia you sound like you will make it in this world. My daughter laughs off the stuff kids say at school she is a high achiever and does not care if she is the nerd. She loves Doc martin boots, wants a nose ring and has died her hair she’s doing what she wants to do and not following the crowd and knows you have to work hard to get anywhere after school is finished. Its such a small part of life if you can get through it. My brother took his own life, no bullying but depression is a cruel partner. Stay strong and just be you, life goes by so quick, im happy there are people like you out there helping others who might be considering taking their young lives.
    Kath

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s