Love

Love… is more than a feeling. It’s more than an excuse. It’s everything we are. It’s the reason we exist. It’s what makes us human. yet, it’s used as an excuse. It’s discriminated. No one can love unless we prove that we can love. It’s like we are drowning in an alternate universe where no one can survive. None of it makes sense…

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It’s not fair what people like to say. I personally have never had much luck with love. I don’t think anyone really does. I think it’s because we are so caught up in being swept off our feet than who’s doing the sweeping. We forget to wait for the perfect someone to come along and save us. Instead, we go out and we take what we can get without really stopping and thinking about the outcome of false love.

My mother’s famous word’s to me are ‘Boy’s can girl’s can’t be friends without one or both liking the other.’ She says this to me all the time because I have a tendency to find guy friends and then later fall in love with them. Normally, they don’t like me back so I get heart broken. Instead of my mother being the kind and loving mother I want her to be, she tells me to grow up, get over my self, and she told me so.

Her mindset of young teens not able to love and her constant nagging at me to stop trying, to stop loving, has lead me to the point where all I want to do is prove her wrong. And I have. In fact, I am at this current moment because I have found love. Real love. But, in a sense, we are both right.

Most teens look at a relationship as “the thing to do”. Most teens don’t realize what having a boyfriend/girlfriend entails. They think it’s about sex and holding hands, kissing. All of that stuff. No one ever seems to realize that love is so much more than “something to do”.

Sure, holding hands is nice, but there is so much more to a relationship than that.

At the same time, a lot of teens do end up falling in love for real and be very serious about it. Though, it’s not just teens. It is literally everyone in the whole world. Even toddlers.

When it comes to small children, it’s cute. They act as if they know precisely what they are doing. I have seen it myself, in fact. At such a young age, of the grade for kindergarten, not one child has fully developed the Frontal Lobe of their brain which basically determines maturity. Most adults think that teens can’t have this developed yet. It might be mostly true, but that doesn’t mean every teen.

Most kids are so overlooked. Our words do not matter to adults because we are not ‘mature’ enough. Yes, we make mistakes but so do adults. Everyone does. I have talked to many adults that act just like children. It’s honestly pathetic.

I have been raised with the idea that there is one special person out there for me. I have also been raised to believe that love doesn’t come around every corner. I have been raised to believe that I am too young to rule my own life. That I am too young to be able to handle feelings.

One of my sisters has definitely fallen for that bull-crap. It is a pathetic excuse for someone to say “I’m higher than you”. It is a way to make children believe that they don’t have control over who they are. The other has taken it too far. She has fallen into a place that she can’t escape. She forgot who she was while she was looking for love and became one of those people who think it’s just something to pass time.

Yes, there is a perfect someone out there for each of us. I hate talking about things like this because no one listens to me. I am a teen. I know nothing to the eyes of people who think that they are so much better than those who are younger. News Flash: We Are All Equal.

If I am too young to fall in love, then someone tell me why I am in love? Someone, please explain how I can feel the things I do. Love is not a feeling that suddenly comes at a certain age. It is an emotion, something we have carried in our hearts since our births. We are each capable of loving. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t be able to love our families, our pets, or anything else we can’t help but fall in love with.

Think of it this way, without love, we wouldn’t have a favorite color, we wouldn’t have any desire to wake up, and we would hate every single thing we looked at. Without love, we would be the darkest, the nastiest person to ever exist. We would literally be nothing.

Love is a word that is a feeling that becomes and emotion that is reality and it lives in us all; it strives to show. It’s good and it is evil. It is everything we are. It is everything we are made of. Love is the reason we exist.

I’m not saying that you should now use this as an excuse to show your parents that you should be allowed to date until you’re sixteen when they have put down a rule that you can’t. You should obey your parents. What I am saying is that you can love. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are ‘too young’. 

In my family that seems to be the age that we suddenly develop this capability to love. It’s not true. My sisters have loved before. I have loved before. My mother has loved at a very young age. I think this mindset of not being able to love comes from my dad who really has never even been taught to love. He grew up with the idea that no body wanted to love him.

I guess the outlook on love comes from how we are raised, so how I got to be the way I am on pretty much every single thing my parents are against is beyond me.

I think you yourself will know when you are ready. you’ll know when you are ready to find love. You’ll know when you’re ready to be able to handle all the emotions that start to fly at you. Maybe you’ll make a mistake. You could get yourself into a whole lot of trouble with it, but if that happens then maybe you weren’t ready.

“This thing called love can be so cold
It can be miserable or it can be beautiful
This thing called love can be so cold
Sometimes it’s amazing
Sometimes it’s crazy
This thing called love” 

~ Nathan Feuerstein

You have to wait for the right person to come along. I have always said to find who you are before you find love because if you know who you are then will you be able to identify with another person; to know what you are looking for and find what you want.

Love is a beautiful thing that defines everything we are inside. Embrace it. Fear it. What ever you do. Never stop loving who you are, what you do, and that special person who deserves your heart.

A lot of my friends come to me after a breakup and say ‘Lexie, I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I can live without him/her. He/she was my whole world. My everything. My life is nothing without them. I feel so worthless. I think I’m just going to end it all… I can’t live anymore.”

This is something that I can barely ever handle. It seems like people come to me for advice. They want words of reassurance; things they already know is true that they want to hear. So, I give it to them.

What love does is murder. Love can kill the most innocent person that you thought last to die. Either they take their own lives or die from literal heartbreak. Love can also bring someone back to life. It can heal and save someone from ruins.

If you are going through a heartbreak and you just feel like you can’t make it, you will. I can promise you that you will fall in love again because the chance of loves does lie behind every corner. Someone out there is waiting for you.

This person is going to fall in love with your flaws. This person is going to forever remember what you were wearing the day you met. How you met. How many times you blinked that day. How often you blinked. They will remember your smile. They will have already seen themselves so in love with you from the start.

Believe me, you’ll know who they are when they come around. Their timing will be utterly perfect. Wait for this person to come because you’ll fall out of love with everyone else except them. Your heart will become their most treasured possession and all they will ever do is guard it, even when you feel hurt.

God forbid if my words have ever been truer.

~You are forever Loved~

~Alexia Dawn

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